Today, I was tempted again. Unlike the previous time however this was an internal temptation. We all know the one. The left side shoulder angel. The dark one. For some reason I call him Dennis. I don't know why. Just the way it is.
This week is week one of my four week cycle. Normally I do tempo and interval work during the week but on week one I reign it back a bit and stick to slow recovery work. Maybe a little form, but mainly recovery.
That was when it started. First during spin class. "Come on slacker - a little more tension on that wheel - heart rate isn't out of zone 2 yet!". The spin instructor is on his side and echoes the same. Stick with the plan the right side says. The one that has no name. I don't know why. Just the way it is. Then again on the treadmill. "What?!? Only 7 MPH and a 1 incline?!? Wimp?!?". Stick with your plan the right side says.
Then, fat hairy guy gets on the treadmill next to me. He and Dennis are friends. They are friends of convenience because fat hairy guy creates an opportunity for Dennis to get under my skin. It allows Dennis to bring up his big gun. Ego. Fat hairy guy casually looks over at my speed and incline. He starts out slower. Dennis loads and cocks. Fat hairy guy glances over, meets my speed and incline. Dennis raises the barrel and takes aim. Fat hairy (and now sweating profusely) guy, ups the ante. .5MPH higher than me. Smiles smugly to himself. Dennis fires. Both barrels. Dennis is pure evil. Darth Vader has nothing on him. "You know you're faster, what are you waiting for?". Dennis mocks me. Silence... "Well? No response from the Ironman?". Ironman is laced with sarcasm and a mocking chuckle. Pure evil. Silence... The nameless one smiles. One of those proud triumphant smiles. He knows I am strong. He knows I will win. Dennis waivers. Fat hairy guy gives up the game. Drops down to 2MPH and hangs his head. Dennis holsters his big gun. Fat hairy guy lurks off to the far corner of the club, beet red and still sweating profusely.
It's easy to get caught up in the energy of Ego. Sometimes it helps. Sometimes we need that little extra kick in the butt to get to the end. The problem is it's a dark energy. When dark energy is spent so are we. It's dangerous stuff if you're not aware of it's effects. It causes us to push when we shouldn't. It causes us to give up when we shouldn't. It's the voice that often begins sentences with "You can't...". It's the one that is vain.
Train according to your plan. Race your race. Keep earplugs handy. Only one though. The one that goes in your left ear.
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