We had another hockey game last night. Things did not go very well. One of the things that the team struggles with is our offense can't seem to control the puck. As an offensive player when the puck hits your stick you have basically four choices - shoot it at the net, pass it to an open player, dump it to a safe place, or skate with it. In addition offensive players need to fight to control the puck - if you can't control the puck, you limit your opportunities to score. If you don't do these things you are not an offensive player.
At heart my son is a defensive player. He's comfortable shooting, but not comfortable skating with the puck. He's great at reading the situation and finding a safe place to dump the puck, but not so good at skating the puck up and looking for passing or shooting opportunities. He's very conservative. He's not very aggressive. This would be all fine and well if he wanted to remain on defense but now he really wants to play offense.
So we had a chat last night after the game. One of those father/son chats. I explained to him that if he really wants to be a forward, he needs to change the way he plays the game. He needs to change the way he thinks about the game and he needs to fully commit himself to that change. He needs to embrace a new paradigm (great - try explaining that to an eight year old!). If he doesn't do this then he will not be a forward. He will continue to be on defense - which is precisely where he belongs given his current approach to the game.
Don't get me wrong here - I want him to play where he's going to be happy and have fun. If he wants defense I embrace and support this wholeheartedly. However, if he wants offense he needs to change in order to be successful and happy. If he doesn't then eventually he's going to get coaches that will come down on him for not having the right mindset for the position. This will not be make hockey fun for a mini type A perfectionist like my son.
At some point in the past I decided I wanted to be a Triathlete. In order to accomplish this I had to undergo significant changes to my lifestyle. I had to change the way I slept, worked out, and ate. I had to find away to absorb the additional training hours required into my already demanding schedule. I had to learn how to swim and learn how to run properly. I had to change the way I viewed myself and what I was capable of. I had to completely commit to a lifestyle change that would impact nearly every aspect of my life. I had to work my ass off.
Today I am a Triathlete - as you are or may be. It was absolutely worth the paradigm shift I had to undergo to get here. I am a very different person then the pre-Triathlete me. This happened due to my commitment to the change. It was not easy. However, if I hadn't committed myself fully I would not have changed. This is one of the life lessons that triathlon has taught me. This is the life lesson I passed on to my son last night.
Ok, he's eight. He may not fully get it. Not completely anyways. But he's a very sharp little pup who listens and absorbs a hell of lot more than I think he does. Some day he will fully understand it. And then he'll be able to apply this lesson to the really important things in his life - deciding to get married, deciding to have children of his own. He will know that if he wants something bad he must commit fully or walk away. He will eventually come to understand the lesson that I have learned - that the life patterns we commit to and adopt now become the foundations for the rest of our lives.
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1 comment:
I like this idea of a paradigm shift. We all have it and we all go through it at some point or another in our lives. Good thoughts.
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